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About Varied / Hobbyist Elsendor Silverpen23/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Young by Elsendor
WIP of my friend's OC for our Mage: the Ascension campaign. She goes by "Mary Holmes" and she's got quite the story. :3
Old habits are hard to break. Mature filter is for portrayal of self harm.

(I'm doing just fine, thanks for those who are asking!)
I'm hitting a bit of a rut in my art lately, not so much literally as emotionally and mentally. 

The older I get, the more I practice. . . well, I've been seeing myself improve a little, bit by bit. And that's encouraging. But the same time, I'm realizing the difference between my work and the work of artists I really admire seems to be more than just hard work, practice, and time.

My dad and I have discussed for years a certain, subtle sort of division in the arts. There's the art that's achievable through practice--if you're a musician, practicing solos day after day until the performance arrives, the way my brother has for years. The way I did, back when I played piano. The kind of art that just about anyone can do, given the perseverance. Anyone can handle photorealistic art, given the time and effort. It's copy work, reproduction, rote repetition so to speak. It's not easy, but it's learnable. That's the improvement I've been seeing in my work.

But then there's that other kind of art, the intangible part that makes one artist stand out for another. Maybe it's what people call "style." That special something that makes one artist's five-minute sketch look so much better, more polished, and more powerful than another artist's eight-hour effort. That unquantifiable something is, I guess, the reason that hundreds of artists can create fanart of the same set of characters, and yet every new piece can be special, important, a true contribution to the community.

That's where I feel stuck, unhappy, unaccomplished, and hopeless. That's the part where I'm beginning to believe I may never have what it takes, that there's only so far a talentless individual can go through hard work alone. I've spent the last couple of years telling myself that you don't have to have talent, if you work hard enough. Now, I'm not so sure. I feel like no matter what I do, my work lacks a certain spark. It's crashing down on me. 

I spent the past week in the hospital, drawing sketch after sketch, but couldn't push a single piece to something polished and finished. . . because I just don't know what polished and finished would look like for me. I don't have a voice. I don't know what use the world has for an an aspiring artist without a voice.
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to:
  • Reading: Dresden Files
  • Watching: meh.
  • Playing: GW2
  • Eating: Sushi
  • Drinking: Water.


Elsendor's Profile Picture
Elsendor Silverpen
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
For love is as strong as death.

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auxara Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HEY DUDE it's esrieal/magnoxia just wanted to let u kno im back on dA!!!!!!! u rock my socks off, man
OsmiumMachine Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :D
OsmiumMachine Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi! I feel like I haven't heard from you in ages. How are you? :D
OsmiumMachine Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Tag a quality deviant, You’re it! Quality doesn’t mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how much followers you have. Send this to 10 deviants who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them!Heart
ThatAudGirl Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Glomp! Thanks for the fav!
mox-ie Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
thank you so much for the watch! :hug:
Elsendor Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! Sorry for the slow reply <.<  my messages are like 5000 strong because I follow so many people and I'm too lazy to check them. 
mox-ie Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
haha no worries! I'm the same way! :)
kjlbs Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Student Artist
thanks for the fav! :D
Elsendor Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! :3
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